Cancelled noise

I walked up to the security line at the Boise airport and called my mom.

"I'm screwed. There's no way I'll make my flight, security is way backed up and it'll be boarding in fifteen minutes. Stand by."

And I sprinted barefoot across the Boise airport, arriving in time and out of breath. One may call this trip lucky.

I sat looking out at the rain pouring down on the tarmac, and leaving tiny spots on my window. The guy behind me smelt strongly of cigarettes and alcohol. It was 7:25 in the morning. He talked to no one. He wouldn't stop talking. I blocked him out with Bose headphones. Cancelled noise.

As we arrived into Salt Lake City, much to my displeasure, he reached around and poked me. Why are you touching me? Why?

"Are those the great salt lakes?"

I looked down at what looked like a few flooded fields.

"I have no idea."

I hate being under ten thousand feet.

I got a bagel smothered in cream cheese in Salt Lake. The woman working told me she liked my smile. Strangely enough, that's not the first time I've been told that very thing in an airport. Last time, though, it was Heathrow. I struck up a conversation with a traveling college student. His backpack was covered in flag patches from all over the world. I only ate half my bagel. I hate how expensive airport food is. I threw the other half away guiltily.

The flight to Phoenix was pleasant, I slept most of it. That kind of sleep where as soon as your head starts to dip, you startle awake. Over and over and over again.

Upon arrival in Phoenix, I took of my sweater and wandered around Sky Harbor, which looks more like a mall than anything. Landing in Phoenix is one of the only ways to see how vast the valley is. It is mind boggling. The city seems to stretch on forever.

I sat at the curb twirling a bottle of water and watching all the posh cars go by. North curb, terminal four. There are only three terminals. Two through four. I saw no black convertible, though.

"Where are you?"

"North curb, terminal four."

"No you aren't."

I'm at departures. I realize this shortly after accusing Jared of not knowing his own airport. Hell if I know how to get down to the arrivals curb. Though I do think I remembered more taxis before.

We drove along the freeway and I finally felt warm and it felt liberating driving in a convertible. We pulled into a gated community and there was no doubt I was in Scottsdale. Jared's house was beautiful. 17-foot ceilings at least. Rock and stone and tile. And ceiling fans. A projector room. The "media" room. As many CDs as KBGA. Not quite. Big screen TVs and surround sound.

We sat on the floor looking through cookbooks before deciding it was easier to make other people cook for us, and decided to go to In'N'Out. A cheeseburger and pink lemonade. Absolutely delicious. I was starving.

We went to Blockbuster and rented Rock Band 2 because I have a distaste for Guitar Hero, and Jared is kind enough to let me have my way with absolutely everything. Including the top down in the car and the music exclusively mine. We went on a search for Raspberry Ginger Beer, stopping first at a store called BevMo, and then AJs and then Safeway. No luck and I settled for a case of Izzes.

We drove to another neighborhood buried in Scottsdale and picked up a boy with a striking resemblance to Cousin It in a trench coat. I deem the trench coat unnecessary in Phoenix's 105 degree weather, but he disagrees. His name is KC and he choked me with my seatbelt when attempting to jump into the back seat of the convertible.

I tagged behind these boys plus one other, named Koga, at the Fashion Square mall. A note on Fashion Square: holy shit. It must be four huge stories at least, and it's...indescribable. Huge and beautiful and posh. I wandered aimlessly, taking it all in. I ate dulce de leche ice cream. The boys threw insults at each other back and forth until I offered up a challenge.

"I bet you can't find a trench coat in this mall. I bet there isn't a single trench coat in this Phoenix mall in June."

And the challenge began. Starting with the major department stores. Jared seemed overly determined to prove me wrong. With little luck. He considers himself victorious though, on one small technicality.

"No, we don't have any trench coats here," a woman said in a British accent. "Try back in December."

"Ha, see? There's no sense in having a trench coat in a Phoenix mall in the summer time. It doesn't exist."

"Well, we do have one in the back. It's not for sale for another several months, though."

Apparently I wasn't clear in saying the trench coat had to be for sale. I thought that was implied. Jared gloated and I ranted and I still think it's BS.

The four of us returned to Jared's and played Rock Band and I blistered and I never realized how fun Rock Band could become when it's maxed out on players and the boys are attempting to sing. I refused to do so and played my drums.

We sat outside on Jared's very comfortable lawn furniture for a long time, talking and listening and I closed my eyes and just felt the sun. They claimed it was the longest they had been outside for a long time.

Eventually we went to a restaurant called Buffalo Wild Wings and I met three more members of Jared's gang. Jenn, Sara, and Teresa. Jenn and Sara are a pair of very entertaining, yet very sweet lesbians and they kiss in public and seem to have gratuitous amounts of love for each other. Teresa receives constant shit for her height, or lack there of, at four foot eight.

The waitress was terrible. We sat for probably an hour waiting for our check alone. But the table was alive with chatter and constant and loud laughter and jabs at one another. I remained quiet most of the time, simply observing this set of lives I sort of just plopped down in front of. However, I found the misters above us highly unnecessary, since it wasn't 105 anymore. KC gloated in his trench coat.

They all came over for a swim in the pool later, despite the pool filters being broken and the water being green. It doesn't look as bad at night though because you can't really see it. We alternated between the pool and the hot tub, surrounded by tiki torches and warm air.

That night, I slept hard after being awake for a total of 23 hours. And woke up to blue skies the following morning.

Jared and I drove to Barnes and Noble the next morning and picked up a book for Jenn's birthday. I used my employee discount, and glanced at their music section. Ours is bigger. We drove to Desert Ridge, an outdoor mall underneath palm trees and misters. I bought a smoothie and read, waiting to meet up with Alex Casady.

We drove through the desert to what I was beginning to consider butt-fuck no where until we reached a dirt road and a jumble of ranches. We got to a house with a screen door we couldn't see into, and picked up Jacob. They instantly started bashing a certain someone, and the bashing lasted the entire afternoon. I laughed and joined in, yet everything they said, I could totally see the person doing. I laughed but felt a strike of feeling, when I found all those quirks so endearing. But that didn't change the fact that he wants nothing to do with me, so I laugh along and shove the feelings aside. Screw drivers and martinis, the final nail in the coffin.

We went to a shoot off of PF Chang's called Pei Wei. It tasted quite good, and I felt a new excitement for NAU. Already, I have several friends, and I can't wait to spend more time with them.

I met up with Jared again at Desert Ridge, bringing him what I couldn't eat, but failing to bring chopsticks, and it went to waste anyway. We drove to the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art and the artist had drawn a picture of what strangely seemed to resemble my brain. Maybe it was the beautiful and colorful swirls around the outside that represented to me Phoenix, or it might have been the huge blob of dark blue in the middle with the fire spurring from it, that represented a bit of a past I am working to overcome. But I looked at it for a long time. And then I looked at books of Banksy and we left.

I decided it was necessary to wrap Jenn's present in pictures from a Playboy, so after making Jared buy it, we went back and sat in the pool. I picked out the best pictures and we sat talking for a long time. We talked about me too much. We jumped off what we deemed the rock of indecision. We got ready for dinner.

Kona Grill sits in Fashion Square Mall, and it fit my definition of swanky. The food was delicious, the evening was beautiful, the company was excellent. The passion fruit creme brulee, though, couldn't have been more fabulous.

Jared and I walked to the theatre down the street afterwards and saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which was not as good as the book, as expected. All throughout the movie, I couldn't stop thinking that's not how it went at all. But what can I do? We argued about it the entire car ride home, and then the lesbians came over and we sat on my bed, mostly tired.

I read by the pool the next morning, a lovely way to spend a morning in my opinion. We got ready and drove out to the Phx Zoo. The elephant was my favorite, the way he rocked back and forth and the way his trunk swung around him. I stopped at every drinking fountain we passed. The zoo was huge and delightful. Baboons really do have bright red butts. All the animals looked dead because of the heat. I picked hibiscuses. We ate at the Rain Forest Cafe.

We happened to be passing a World Market when I asked if we could stop. I figured it would be one last failed attempt to find a Raspberry Ginger Beer. It wasn't. I became ecstatic and we listened to loud music the rest of the way back. Jared and I then set to work on making chocolate covered strawberries. He blamed all the ugly looking ones on himself. He was lying.

We took the strawberries to Jenn's birthday party at Red Robin, along with our "charitable contribution," not a gift. The dinner was pleasant and even better, everyone came over for another pool party in the green, green water. There were ten of us, and it felt so great to be surrounded by people. A part of a group.

After much swimming, we made frozen pizza and played Rock Band. The night couldn't have been better. It only made me wish I could stay a lot longer. I love the people I met and I want to be a permanent fixture in their lives. Again, I am living my life wishing I was somewhere else. Consequently, it keeps being Arizona.

But the next day, Jared and I kept it quiet, only went to In'N'Out once again for lunch and a milkshake, and watched Law and Order SVU. On my request. He took me to the airport and being home has felt rather depressing. And cold.