That pink umbrella I hide under.

Yesterday, I spent some time looking at the car. Sitting outside the Flying M, Orangina poured into a glass with ice. Was it his blue Subaru? Everyone in Boise has a blue Subaru with a rocket box. I couldn't see the back, no way to confirm the bike rack. Everyone in Boise has a blue Subaru with a rocket box. But then he walked to it. Blue shirt, tight jeans, black and white Pumas. Sunglasses that look silly on my face. Polarized. He turned down the street, drove right past me. Didn't even glance in my direction, yet I find it impossible that he didn't see me. Maybe he didn't recognize me with the new hair. Or maybe this will be the next three years.

Walking around all day filling out job applications, all the reasons why these people should hire me. "I can work under pressure, and stay upbeat." "I am reliable, have a focused work ethic." "Editor-in-Chief of my high school newspaper." "70 hours volunteer service for KBGA. 80 hours on-air." All these things to set me a part. All these reasons I stand out.

"If you walked into a grocery store..."

Where is she going with this?

"And could pick out only one item..."

Why would I be in a grocery store if I worked at Barnes and Noble?

"...that best represents yourself, what would it be?"

Well that's not what I was expecting in this job interview.

"One of those little pink umbrellas you can put in your drink," I said because it was the first thing that popped into my mind. A pink umbrella you can put in your drink, seriously Jessica? "Because I am unique and I brighten people's day...and I can shade your drink..."

This is why I called my show The Awkward Hour. This is why my blog is called The Awkward Blog.

My mom asked me, "So how did it go?"

How did it go? Not well, nothing is going well, my best friend is done with me.

And yet Barnes and Noble called today. They want a final interview.

And yet there are still good things. Had I spent all my time with him this summer, I wouldn't have developed a friendship with Jared Lows. A friendship so rapidly developing, it seems ridiculous. Phoenix next month? Might as well, no reason to stay around here.

And maybe I'll get that job at Barnes and Noble. And maybe I'll get that job at the Sun Ray Cafe. And this summer won't turn out as I planned for the past year, but it won't be terrible either.

Maybe it really is what it is. Maybe it's time to just ride the fucking board.